Islam and children

How do you raise a child in a non-Muslim environment like mine? Of course the idea has crossed my mind because I do want to have children of my own someday, insha Allah. But there are many considerations in raising a family, and aside from the obvious daily needs, there are the religious aspects that I, as a Muslim, value immensely. I will certainly not allow my children to grow up as non-believers, but I cannot count on society to help me with their guidance.

For starters, there are not many Islamic books for children. I tried searching in bookstores to see what Islamic books I can give to a kid who just turned a year old and unfortunately, I ended up finding just one. It was the story of two girls, one was Christian, and the other was Muslim who became the best of friends even with differing religions. Other than that, there was nothing else to teach the young Muslims about Islam in its most basic form. Sad. So where do parents turn to for help? Schools yes, but how many Islamic schools are there in Manila that combines both Islamic studies and regular education?

I am a little worried, to say the least. I know that we are the best examples to a child for they do as we do, speak as we speak, and think as we think. Every action must be of exemplary quality so that the children may inherit excellence and strive to do good at all times. However, if the world around them is corrupt, how do you shield them from these vile conditions? 

Help, anybody? 

Farm in the city

My Lola (grandmother) lives in this quaint property abundant with lush greenery. I enjoy coming here when I have time because it's a refreshing break from the urban jungle, and it's not so far away from where I live. We've had this property for as long as I can remember and my dad used to take us here when this was nothing but a wide expanse of vegetation.

A tree decor made out of drinking straw - my Lola's science project :) 

This lot has greatly improved throughout the years, and deteriorated at the same time with my dad's passing. Some parts of it have been neglected, while others were kept intact such as this barn house right behind my Lola's house. I love that it's now painted in white,. It's very shabby-chic! Inside it's but a storage room.

Mumay (mom) leads the way

Further into the farm, you'll have to tread a walkway that takes you to a clearing where the main hall can be found. Back in the day, this path was hardly walkable with tall grass and tress coming out of nowhere.

Wish there was a tree house

There's really nothing grand about the houses inside our farm. My dad never saw the need for building a "mansion" inside because I think he wanted to keep the integrity of the natural environment. I totally agree with it, however, these houses are so "backward" that it doesn't provide a suitable living condition.  Oh, and my mom has a new project that I'm officially calling "bamboo house." She found several piles of bamboo wood and thought of transforming it into a nice little daybed, that should look like this: Although the one now is looking far from it. LOL!

The inspiration

Mumay's Bamboo House in progress

Whom of these two do I look like? My Mumay or Lola? My aunt always says that I'm lucky because 35 years from now I don't have to guess how I'll look - all I have to do is look at my mom. And to see myself in old age, I don't have to go too far - my Lola will be my exact replica. Hahaha! What do you think?

Mumay - or me in 35 years time

Lola - or me at 80

So, tomorrow is back to work.... Zzzzzzz.....

A wall called death

My father's death came as a surprise. He was almost in tip-top shape before that unfortunate incident happened when he suffered a stroke that could not revive him back to life. The family was in deep despair, most especially my mother. It's been over 9 years since we lost our father but she tells it like it just happened yesterday. She never forgot my father in all those years.

You have not experienced pain until someone you love very dearly pass away. In the realm of death,  an awakening shakes you up and makes you realize that life is brief and can end in an instant. You pilot your life and cruise in predictable fashion, only to find yourself at the end of the road and about to hit a hard, blank wall called death. SMASH!!! Your time is up. 

In the Philippines,  just as many Catholics are keen on celebrating Christmas, all Souls Day (Nov.1) is an occasion that is no less than a spectacle in this country. It is given of utmost importance that it is even declared a non-working holiday so that people may have time to visit their graves. The roads leading up to a cemetery is lined with vendors selling candles, flowers and food, turning the peaceful cemetery into one arena of frenzy.

As the only Muslim in my family, I refused being dragged to the cemetery, but upon my mother's request, I obliged. My views (and knowledge) about death has differed from when I was a Catholic. Islam gave me a crystal-clear picture of how life is really meant to be lived and the unforeseen events that happen after it. Below the graves, there were matters that only them and Allah could see, and this was a terrifying thought.

To say how Islam views death is to also say how it views life. To Muslims, the present life is a preparation for the next realm of existence. A great consciousness of life in the Hereafter is imposed upon every Muslim so that we use this life purposefully to please Allah and by aiming to do good deeds. The present life is a trial for what's to come in the next, which are just of two things: a blessed life in Paradise or a wretched life in the Fires of Hell.

The concept of Life after Death is an enigmatic one that many are in doubt of. The Quran very clearly tells the non-believers that there is no denying this matter:

 And they say, “There is not but our worldly life; we die and live (i.e. some people die and others live, replacing them) and nothing destroys us except time.” And they have of that no knowledge; they are only assuming. And when Our verses are recited to them as clear evidences, their argument is only that they say, “Bring [back] our forefathers, if you should be truthful.” Say, “God causes you to live, then causes you to die; then He will assemble you for the Day of Resurrection, about which there is no doubt,” but most of the people do not know.  (Quran, 45:24-26)

For sure, Allah will bring us all back to life and gather His creations for the Day of Judgement, and that will mark the start of life for all eternity. But those who deny it give more importance to their worldly desires and only realize at the time of death the horror of this terrifying Day, as stated in the Quran:

 [For such is the state of the disbelievers], until, when death comes to one of them, he says, “My Lord, send me back that I might do righteousness in that which I left behind (i.e. in that which I neglected).” No! It is only a word he is saying; and behind them is a barrier until the Day they are resurrected. So when the Horn is blown, no relationship will there be among them that Day, nor will they ask about one another. And those whose scales are heavy [with good deeds] - it is they who are the successful. But those whose scales are light - those are the ones who have lost their souls, [being] in Hell, abiding eternally. The Fire will sear their faces, and they therein will have taut smiles (i.e. their lips having been contracted by scorching until the teeth are exposed).  (Quran, 23:99-104) 

Just thinking about the Final Hour gives me tremors. It's hard to make amends for the mistakes of the past when death looks you straight in the eyes. That means that we only have Here and Now.

In a hadith, Imam Malik Ibn Anas saw the Death Angel in his sleep, and the Imam asked him: " How much left for me to live?". The Angel pointed to his five fingers. Then the Imam asked him: " Does that mean 5 years, or 5 months, or 5 days ?". Before the Imam had a chance to get an answer back, he woke up. The Imam went to someone who would interpret dreams. That man told him: " Imam Malik, when the Angel pointed to his five fingers he didn't mean 5 years or months or days, but the Angel meant that your question ' how much left for me to live' is among 5 matters that only Allah (SWT) knows about, and he recited a verse from the Quran:





"" Verily, with ALLAH alone is the knowledge of the Hour. And HE sends down the rain, and HE knows what is in the wombs. And no soul knows what it will earn tomorrow, and no soul knows in what land it will die. Surely, ALLAH is All-Knowing, All-Aware. "" 31:34 

To Muslims who want to know the basic etiquette when visiting the graves, please read on:

During visit to graves, one cannot perform prayers (salat). Graveyards can never be used as masjids. It is makrooh (disliked or not recommended) to perform prayers facing a grave. It is not permissible to put candles and light them up on graves. One must avoid uttering nasty and nonsense words which are unrelated to grave visits, walking in an arrogant manner and one must be in a modest state. One must avoid relieving nature in graveyards. It is makrooh to cut down trees and plants in graveyards. It is makrooh to make sacrifice near a grave, even though it is performed for the sake of Allah. And it is definitely haram to make sacrifice in order to make the dead content and get help from them. There are some who said it is shirk (attributing partners to Allah); because, making sacrifice is a kind of worship and only Allah can be worshipped.


Death is the end of our physical existence but in the supernatural state, our lives carry on into the next dimension for all eternity. May Allah be pleased with us in this world and grant us a blessed life in the Hereafter. Ameen.